Letting the world really see you.
I know these thoughts all too well:
“I don’t like the spotlight”
“It’s not safe to be seen”
“People will judge me”
So, what's the other option? To stay hidden, make ourselves smaller, and never take the lead?
Something to keep in mind is that people don't talk about or think about us nearly as much as we think they do. And in the off chance they are, it really doesn't matter.
Being seen means being true to ourselves and letting others see all the wonderful parts of us without trying to avoid or downplay them.
Maybe previous experiences have shaped our views and feelings about stepping out. I understand completely but I also know that although we can’t change what’s happened to us, we can choose to move forward to grow, to heal and to bloom knowing that confidence isn't "I know they'll like me". Confidence is "I'll be ok whether they like me or not".
How can we be the change we want to see, make choices that align for us, that make us feel more at ease, that let us learn new ways to feel joy, contentment and let our nervous system feel connected back to safety?
This is what we can change. This is what we can choose – GROWTH!
The saying goes: "dance like no one is watching". It’s time to make that video, snap that photo, speak your mind, step onto the stage.
The world needs our special light, honesty, and confident presence.
See it as a chance to celebrate how amazing we all are.
Everyone is encouraged to be the same – to fit in this box or that, our uniqueness is a precious gift. Many feel scared of being noticed by others. But just because it's common doesn't mean we have to let it hold us back forever.
I'll dig into why we feel this fear and why it's important to conquer it to live our lives to the fullest. Plus, I'll provide some tips on how to feel comfortable being seen and showing our true selves.
Facing the “Being Seen” Fear
We all harbor insecurities, anxieties and self-doubt. Often, they show up in whispers like “I’m not enough” or “what if they don’t like me?” or “what if it doesn’t work out?”
These thoughts often come from past experiences where we felt judged or not good enough. For example, maybe you shared an idea in class and others laughed, making you're hesitant to speak up again. Or, you tried out for a sports team or school play and didn't make it, which made you doubt your abilities. These insecurities are a part of being human. But when we recognize and face them, we can grow stronger, more resilient, and kinder to ourselves. Sometimes we don’t know what causes us to think or feel a certain way. It’s just life and it happens to all of us. Taking steps now, being brave and going for what we want is what counts.
Though our “being seen” fear often reflects our innermost vulnerabilities (fear of judgment, rejection, or not meeting expectations), it only perpetuates a life lived in the shadows. When we hide who we truly are, we miss out on real connections. It’s like trying to get close to someone while wearing a mask. They can't see the real you, and you can't fully experience the joy of being understood and accepted.
Showing our true selves can be scary, but it's also freeing. When we let our vulnerabilities show, we allow others to connect with us on a deeper level. People appreciate honesty and authenticity, even if it means seeing our imperfections. By stepping out, we open ourselves up to more genuine and meaningful relationships, making life richer and more fulfilling.
Facing the fear of being seen head-on is an act of courage.
What are your fears? What holds you back?
Some ways that could help us feel more comfortable being seen and showing our true selves is to start small. Step out a little from the comfort zone in situations where we feel safe and supported. Maybe it’s sharing thoughts in a small group or posting a picture that represents some part of us.
Practising self-acceptance is big. Becoming more comfortable with who we are, including quirks and imperfections. Nobody is perfect, and that's what makes us all unique and interesting.
Setting boundaries is also important. It's okay to set limits on how much attention we're comfortable with. Gradually expanding the boundaries as we become more confident.
Then focusing on positive feedback. Pay attention to the compliments and encouragement we receive when we do show our true self. These positive experiences are great for building our confidence.
Visualizing Success is crucial. Before stepping into a situation where we'll be seen, we need to take a moment to visualize ourselves feeling confident and comfortable in that environment.
Top of the list is to surround ourselves with supportive people. Spending time with friends, family, or mentors who accept and appreciate us for who we are is invaluable. Their support can make it easier to be ourselves in front of others.
Another option that helps is mindfulness. Staying present and focusing on our breath especially if we start to feel anxious about being seen. Mindfulness techniques can help calm nerves and boost confidence.
Becoming comfortable with being seen and showing our true self takes time and practice. Doing our best and giving it our all doesn't always mean things will turn out the way we want. Sometimes things just go bad - it is not a sign of weakness, it is just life. In the meantime, we can't sit on the sidelines always thinking or wondering..... what if.
Stepping into the Spotlight
I stayed hidden in so many ways in my life. I never took selfies. I never posted pictures online. Until not long ago, I didn’t even have a Facebook account. I’m still learning to navigate that platform and being told in the interim that Instagram is now more relevant. Being technically challenged is only half the battle. I also struggle with being online for any length of time. It takes me quite a while to coordinate my thoughts and put to words what I want to share.
For more than 15 years, I have wanted to write, start a blog and do other creative things that go out into the world but I have kept myself hidden, stuck and small out of fear. Posting these blogs may seem minor, but it’s huge for me.
I wrote the first, then the second, originally just keeping the stories on my computer until one day, I decided to take the plunge. And here we are. Talk about stepping into the spotlight and facing my fear!
A couple years ago there’s no way I would’ve done this. But I decided to, precisely because it was so far out of my comfort zone. I now take a bit of risk, do hard things and challenge myself every day.
The whole process has been transformational. I faced the fear and took action. I upgraded my mindset.
I'm trying to see things in life as happening for me, not to me. My inner self-talk is something I practise everyday – being kinder to me. More compassion while encouraging myself to step up and be brave.
We are all worthy of joy and everything good life has to offer.
While my fear of being online is still a work in progress, I continue to challenge myself to speak up, and shine light on topics or thoughts that are important to me. I am braver at having difficult conversations, finding my authentic voice, allowing myself to be vulnerable and seen by others outside my circle. We often use the following analogy for my daughter’s understanding:
Red - Me
Orange - Family
Yellow – Friendship
Green – Acquaintance
Blue – Community
Purple – Strangers
Being seen isn't necessarily about or limited to the internet. It's something that happens in many parts of life, like at our jobs, when we're spending time with friends, or when we're starting a new project. Being seen means people noticing and appreciating us for who we are and what we bring to the table. It’s a natural part of life, and it's important to embrace and celebrate our true self in every situation.
Some examples of expressing who we truly are:
Wearing A Favorite Outfit: Even if it’s not the latest fashion trend, we choose to wear an outfit that makes us feel comfortable and confident. This shows our unique style and personality.
Sharing Art: Whether it's painting, music, writing, or any other form of creativity, sharing our work with others, even if we fear judgment, shows our true self and talents.
Expressing Opinions: During a meeting or a casual conversation, we openly share our thoughts and opinions, even if they differ from the majority. This demonstrates our authenticity and confidence in our beliefs.
Talking About Our Interests: We talk about our hobbies or passions, such as a love for gardening, gaming, or reading sci-fi novels, even if they aren’t mainstream interests. This helps others see the real us.
Being Honest About Our Feelings: When someone asks how we’re doing, we give a genuine answer instead of just saying “I’m fine,” sharing our true feelings and experiences.
Showing Vulnerability: Admitting when we need help or when we’re struggling with something, instead of pretending everything is perfect, allows others to see and connect with our genuine self.
Posting Authentic Content on Social Media: Sharing real moments from our life, including the highs and the lows, rather than only posting curated, picture-perfect images.
Living Our Truth: Embracing life regardless of societal expectations.
Taking Risks in Pursuit of Our Dreams: Going after a career or goal that truly excites us, even if it’s unconventional or others don’t understand it.
So there’s my thoughts on the importance of being seen for who we truly are, despite the fears that might hold us back. It's about creating a space where we feel safe to express ourselves, have fun while doing it, and explore the amazing person hiding behind those fears.
Just take a deep breath, step into the spotlight, and embrace the journey of discovering the wonderful human that you are.
We all deserve to be seen and celebrated - just as we are ❤️
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