The other day, I came across a story that struck a deep chord in me, and I feel compelled to share it here. It was about a woman who devoted herself to her family with complete selflessness, quietly handling every responsibility without seeking praise or acknowledgment. Reading about her life made me reflect on how many of us, especially women, take on these roles without ever stopping to question whether we’re taking care of ourselves too. It’s a story that offers a powerful reminder about the importance of living fully, not just for others, but for ourselves.
Here’s a glimpse into her journey—and the invaluable lesson it left behind.
A few years ago, a dear friend celebrated her 50th birthday—a milestone she deserved to mark with joy and pride. But just a few short months later, she was struck by a sudden illness, and she passed away swiftly, leaving a void in our friend group. I remember the moment we received the message in our group chat: “Sad, she is no longer with us.” It was shocking and heartbreaking. The news of her passing brought with it a wave of realizations that we hadn’t fully acknowledged while she was alive.
My friend had been a selfless caretaker of her family. She managed their home, supported her children’s education, took care of her elderly in-laws through illness, and attended to her husband’s needs while he traveled frequently for work. She was the heartbeat of her household, attending to endless tasks that often went unnoticed and unappreciated. Occasionally, she would confide her feelings, sharing that her family seemed to expect everything but rarely expressed any appreciation. “I feel taken for granted,” she would say. Her words, though rare, showed a deep fatigue—a yearning for acknowledgment that never came.
After a few months, I decided to check in on her husband to see if he needed support. I imagined how hard it must be for him to adjust to managing everything alone. Her passing would surely leave a tremendous gap in their daily lives, and I worried that he might be feeling lost.
When I called, he didn’t answer right away. An hour later, he returned my call, apologizing. “Sorry, I couldn’t pick up,”he said. “I’ve started playing tennis at the club every evening. It’s been a nice way to unwind.” He even mentioned he’d taken a transfer at work to stay closer to home, giving up the travel he once enjoyed. I asked how he was managing at home, expecting a sigh or a moment of sadness. But he quickly reassured me: “Oh, things are fine. I hired a cook who also takes care of groceries, and I have a full-time caretaker for my parents.” His voice was steady, even upbeat.
I was stunned. The home that once needed my friend’s constant care and attention was now running smoothly with hired help. He seemed to have adapted, filling his time with tennis, friends, and a closer-to-home job. Life was going on, and everything was falling into place without her.
I hung up the call with tears welling in my eyes. Memories of my friend came rushing back—her missing a school reunion for her mother-in-law’s minor ailment, skipping her niece’s wedding to supervise a home repair, forgoing social events, fun, and personal time to prioritize her children’s studies, or attend to her husband’s needs. How many times had she brushed off invitations, saying, “I can’t, I have responsibilities.”
All those small moments, the sacrifices, the times she put herself last, came back to me. She had always believed she was indispensable—that her family needed her for everything. But here I was, speaking to her husband, and things had adjusted quickly without her. I wished I could tell her that while her dedication was valued, the world did not fall apart in her absence. -Author Unknown-
This is the hard lesson for so many of us, especially women, who give tirelessly and selflessly to our families and loved ones. In our minds, we believe we are holding everything together, that without us, things would crumble. We are taught that this selflessness is noble. But this mindset can come at a cost. As this story reminds me, we teach others to place us second when we place ourselves last.
The reality is that life goes on. People adapt. Homes find new rhythms. And yet, how many of us live with this unspoken burden of believing we must do everything? We sacrifice our dreams, our passions, our time with friends, and even our own happiness, thinking we must always be there for everyone else. The problem is, we are rarely encouraged to think about ourselves with that same care.
If there’s a message here for all women, it’s this: MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF.
We all deserve our own attention and love. Embrace ME time, reach out to friends, and make space in your life for laughter, joy, and the things that bring you real happiness. Don’t wait for a moment when you “have the time.” MAKE the time.
The truth is, if we are not happy, it’s difficult to bring happiness to those around us. Take time for self-care, find activities you enjoy, and remember the passions that make you feel alive. You have just as much a right to this care as anyone else in your life.
Another online find:
As we prioritize ourselves, we can also support other women who may be struggling. Helping others uplift their own confidence and find their happiness can create a ripple effect that benefits everyone around us. Our lives become more than just roles and responsibilities—they become worthwhile, vibrant, and fulfilling.
So, here’s to making life meaningful—not by shouldering every burden alone, but by sharing that load, by finding joy in the everyday, and by valuing ourselves as much as we value others. After all, a life lived for everyone else, but without space for ourselves, is a life unbalanced. We are worth our own happiness.
Here are some interesting stats:
Household Responsibilities: In Canada, women still tend to shoulder a disproportionate amount of household responsibilities, even in dual-income households. According to Statistics Canada, women spend about 50% more time on unpaid domestic work, such as cooking, cleaning, and caregiving, compared to men. This often leaves less time for personal pursuits and self-care.
Mental Health and Self-Care: Self-care isn’t just about pampering—it’s crucial for mental health. Studies from the Canadian Mental Health Association show that nearly 50% of Canadian women report feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities at least some of the time. Yet, prioritizing self-care, such as meeting friends, exercising, or pursuing hobbies, has been linked to higher levels of life satisfaction and reduced stress.
Life Satisfaction and Leisure: According to Statistics Canada, those who prioritize leisure time have about a 20% higher life satisfaction rate. In contrast, those who regularly forego “me-time” often experience higher stress and burnout rates.
Life Expectancy and Quality of Life: In Canada, women generally live longer than men, with an average life expectancy of 84 years compared to 80 years for men. But quality of life matters just as much! Women who regularly engage in self-care and fulfilling activities are likely to have a better quality of life as they age.
Social Connections: Research shows that maintaining strong social connections is a major factor in long-term health. Women with close friendships tend to have lower rates of depression and anxiety. In fact, social engagement, such as regularly meeting friends or participating in community activities, has been shown to reduce the risk of cognitive decline in later years.
Women and the Workforce: In Canada, about 47% of the workforce is female, yet many of these women are also primary caregivers at home. Balancing a career, family, and self-care is challenging, but studies show that women who take some time for themselves are more productive and report better mental and physical health overall.
A New Approach to "Me Time": A Canadian survey by LPSOS found that 75% of women feel “me time” is essential to their overall well-being. However, over half (54%) admitted they rarely take time for themselves because of guilt or a feeling of being “indispensable” at home.
BREAK the habit of feeling indispensable. Cherish the moments that make you feel alive. And most of all, remember: happiness isn’t something we earn; it’s something we CREATE.