Ever feel like you’re running a one-person show at home? You’re not alone. If you’ve ever found yourself doing literally everything for everyone in your household while the rest of the crew just goes about their day, blissfully unaware of why you’re always in a BAD mood, this is for you.
I’ve written about household responsibilities before, but I felt it was time to revisit the topic. Life has a way of leading us back into old habits, and sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to keep things balanced. It’s easy to slip into routines where one person ends up doing more than their fair share. So, here’s a fresh look at why sharing the load is so important.
We all have chores. But here’s the kicker: while some members of the household might tackle jobs that don’t require daily attention—like mowing the lawn, tending the gardens or washing the car—there’s one person (usually you) stuck with the everyday, multiple-times-a-day chores like cooking, cleaning, laundry, and dishes. And guess what? Those tasks don’t just magically get done. They require time, energy, and yes, a bit of your sanity.
You wake up, and before you even have a chance to sip that first cup of coffee, you’re already knee-deep in responsibilities. Breakfast needs to be made, kids need to be dressed, lunches packed, and maybe even a quick load of laundry before the day officially starts. It’s a routine that never seems to end. By the time the evening rolls around, it’s dinner, more dishes, and preparing for the next day. And if you work outside the home, those responsibilities don't pause; they just pile up, waiting for you the moment you walk back through the door.
Others in the household might chip in occasionally, but it’s often with tasks that don’t require daily attention. Taking out the trash once a week and dishes from time to time - these are all important, but they’re not the daily grind that keeps the household running smoothly. And yet, when it comes to the daily tasks, you’re often left holding the bag.
What’s frustrating is that a lot of this work goes unnoticed. It’s like you’re operating behind the scenes, making sure everything runs smoothly, but without any acknowledgment or appreciation. The dishes are clean, meals are prepared, the laundry is folded, fresh bedding on the beds, kids and all their needs are taken care of - but does anyone notice? Not until it doesn’t get done.
Food just magically appears in our cupboards and fridge. And there’s always back up when we run out of something. My husband jokes – there’s more in isle 4 (referencing the cupboards downstairs).
The problem is that this invisible workload often leads to burnout. We’re constantly doing, doing, doing, and it feels like there’s no end in sight. And when we finally do hit a breaking point, what do we hear? “Why are you always in a BAD mood?” It’s like adding insult to injury.
People often think that certain chores are one person’s job, usually the one who’s always been doing them. But that’s not true. Running a household takes teamwork, with everyone helping out and sharing the work.
Sometimes, though, people choose chores they like or think are important. Sure, mowing the lawn, tending the gardens, or washing the car can be satisfying, but they don’t compare to the everyday tasks that keep the household running. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, kids —these need to be done every day and require more than just a once-in-a-while effort.
When one person is handling most of the household responsibilities while others only help out occasionally or with less important tasks, it can cause tension and frustration. It’s hard not to feel upset when you’re the one doing most of the work.
When you’re buried in chores, it’s tough to find time for yourself or your relationships. You’re so busy making sure everything gets done that there’s hardly any energy left for quality time.
No surprise - BAD MOOD.
Having said that, while daily chores like cooking, cleaning, and laundry can feel never-ending, it is important to give a shout-out to the bigger projects outside the house. Fixing the deck, painting the house, trimming the garden, sealing the driveway, or taking care of the pool—these are massive tasks that require serious time and energy. They might not happen every day, but when they do, they deserve some serious recognition. These jobs keep our home in shape and take a lot of effort, so it’s only fair to cut some slack on the inside work when these big projects are going on.
What’s the fix? It starts with talking it out. Sit down with everyone in the home and have an honest chat about sharing the chores. It’s important that they know how the current setup is not working and why it can’t go on.
Next, it’s all about finding balance; especially when those routine tasks start feeling a bit too much. Everyone should chip in with the daily tasks, not just the ones they pick and choose. Create a routine where everyone has a role in keeping the household running smoothly. This could mean rotating chores, taking turns cooking, setting a schedule, or just being more aware of the workload.
For those with kids, it’s a great chance to teach responsibility and appreciation. Kids should learn early on that chores are just part of life and everyone has a role. It doesn’t mean piling on tasks, but getting them involved in age-appropriate chores so they understand the value of pitching in. I provided a list of age appropriate tasks in an earlier blog "HOUSEWORK - Family Contribution".
When everyone helps out, it not only lightens the load but also builds a sense of teamwork and respect. It’s about creating a home where everyone feels responsible for the space they share.
Then there is self-care which isn’t selfish. We can’t pour from an empty cup, and if we’re always running on empty, something’s got to give. It’s okay to step back and put our well-being first. Whether it’s carving out some 'me time,' delegating tasks, or just saying 'no' when we’re overwhelmed, taking care of ourselves is key.
When we look after ourselves, we’re better equipped to look after others. It’s not about being perfect or doing it all—it’s about finding a balance that works for everyone at home.
If we feel like we’re doing it all, we’re not alone. Many have been there, and it’s tough. But with honest conversations, fair sharing of chores, and a little self-care, we can create a more balanced and peaceful home.
We’re not just the one who ‘does it all.’ We’re a key part of the home, and what we do matters. We can’t hesitate to speak up, ask for help, and carve out time for ourselves. We deserve it.
I recently had a heart-to-heart with my family about how they could pitch in more around the house. We set up a schedule for cooking days and regular garbage collection to keep things organized. I made sure to explain how everyone’s contribution, even just a little, makes a big difference. Sometimes, a gentle reminder is needed, but overall, the family was open to the plan. It feels great to have everyone step up, and it makes a difference in how smoothly things run.
I also recently started going out more with friends, and it’s been such a refreshing change. Whether it’s a lunch date, a coffee catch-up, a shopping trip, craft night, or a theatre outing, I’ve realized how important it is to have these moments on the calendar—something to look forward to. It’s not just about getting out of the house; it’s about recharging with people who share similar interests and who understand. These outings make such a difference in my day-to-day life.
I saw the following story recently about a messy home and just had to share.
Returning Home to a Mess
In the following story, you’ll hear about a husband that came home to a house that looked like a disaster. When he finally found his wife and confronted her about it, she had the absolute perfect response…….
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entryway, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.
In the front room, the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.
As he peered inside, he found wet towels, scummy soap, and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked: “What happened here?”
She again smiled and answered. “You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do all day?”
“Yes”, was his incredulous reply.
She answered, “Well, today I didn’t do it.”
Author unknown
In the end, small changes can work wonders for our home life. Just a few tweaks and a bit of teamwork can ease the load and make our space more joyful and balanced. It’s incredible how tiny adjustments can lead to big improvements, making daily chores smoother and helping everyone feel more connected and appreciated.
Welcome the changes and enjoy the positive vibes they bring to our home.
Fun Facts:
Laundry has been around for thousands of years – The first laundry "machines" were actually rivers! People would beat their clothes on rocks and use sand as an abrasive to scrub away dirt.
Vacuum cleaners used to be horse-drawn – In the early 1900s, vacuum cleaners were so large they had to be hauled by horse and carriage. They were parked outside the home, and long hoses were run inside to clean! In the late 1870s, Melville Bissell began marketing his invention, a carpet sweeper with revolving brushes which picked up the dust and dirt and deposited it inside the sweeper housing. It depended on the rotation of the wheels to drive the sweeping mechanism and only removed debris from the top of the carpet nap.
Dishwashers were invented by a wealthy woman – Josephine Cochrane, frustrated with servants breaking her fine china, invented the first practical dishwasher in 1886. She said, "If nobody else is going to invent a dishwashing machine, I’ll do it myself!"
Dusting has a surprising history – In the Victorian era, dust was often regarded as a sign of wealth. Wealthy households showed off their ability to afford multiple servants by allowing dust to accumulate, knowing their staff would handle it daily.
Cleaning floors with brooms was an art – Before vacuum cleaners, sweeping floors with brooms was more than just cleaning—it was considered an art in some cultures. For example, Japanese Zen gardens influenced how monks swept, making calming designs as they tidied up.
Ironing can be traced back to the Vikings – They used heated stones to press their clothes flat. Though we’ve modernized the tools, the idea is still the same.
The microwave changed meal prep forever Introduced in 1946, it made cooking much faster. The first commercial microwave - the RadaRange - sold to restaurants was nearly six feet tall and weighed more that 750 lbs. Percy Spencer, the inventor, discovered the idea by accident when a chocolate bar in his pocket melted near radar equipment! By 1986, 1 in 4 households had one and by 1997, 9 in 10 households.
Recycling is more ancient than we think – Archaeologists have found that ancient people reused tools and pottery long before modern recycling programs began.
Chore charts are an old trick – In medieval times, large households gave servants specific tasks to do, each with their own "chore chart." This likely inspired the version we use today.
Spring cleaning has roots in tradition – Many cultures practice this, like the Jewish tradition of cleaning before Passover or the Chinese custom of tidying up for the Lunar New Year to sweep away bad luck.
Chores may be tedious, but they are necessary and do have a fascinating history!
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