In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, it's easy to let time slip away without realizing it. Work demands, household chores, social commitments, and countless other distractions consume our days. Yet, amidst all these responsibilities, we often overlook one of the most crucial aspects of our lives: our children. Making time for our children is not just a luxury; it's a necessity. This blog is a heartfelt reminder about the importance of dedicating quality time to our kids regardless of their age.
The importance of quality time is that our children (when young) are like sponges, absorbing everything from their surroundings. The time we spend with them significantly shapes their development, self-esteem, and overall well-being.
For parents of children with disabilities, spending quality time together is especially meaningful. These moments of connection help our kids feel understood and supported, building their confidence and emotional well-being. Engaging in their favorite activities, offering a listening ear, or simply being present. It’s not about doing everything perfectly but about showing your love and acceptance. This helps them thrive.
The reality in this fast-paced world is that parents are often juggling multiple roles. Balancing work and family life is difficult. It's a common struggle, but recognizing this challenge is the first step toward addressing it.
Simple Ways to Make Time:
Even though we have to work and pay bills, we know that spending time with our kids is super important. Prioritizing family time over less critical activities might sometimes require saying no to parties, activities or extra work, but the rewards far outweigh any sacrifices.
Daily routines that include spending time with our kids could be as simple as having breakfast together, reading a bedtime story, or taking a short walk after dinner.
Our whole world is dominated by screens, it's crucial to disconnect from devices and genuinely connect with our children. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been in a restaurant or at a park to see the kids staring into space or looking at the parent longingly while they are on their cell phones. It’s quite a sad sight. Make a point to set aside specific times in the day when all gadgets are put away, and focus solely on interacting with the kids. Especially around mealtimes. It doesn’t have to be for hours. Even 30 minutes at different times of the day would work. Just need to ensure that the time we do choose is undivided.
Involve the kids in cooking, gardening, or even tidying up the house. Not only does this teach them valuable skills, but it also provides more time together.
Even with physical or behavioral limitations, we can turn everyday tasks into meaningful opportunities. Instead of focusing on typical activities, finding ways to include them in adapted versions of cooking, gardening, or tidying up. Maybe they can help stir ingredients, water plants, or sort items by color. These small actions teach valuable skills and give us more time together. Adapting tasks to their abilities not only contributes to their development but also strengthens connections.
When children talk, give them full attention. Show genuine interest in their stories and concerns. Active listening strengthens bonds and makes them feel valued. At times I find showing this type of support for each all at once can sometimes be challenging. It's tough juggling everyone's needs and making sure everyone feels supported, heard and loved however, I'm trying my best to pay attention to their stories, worries, and dreams. I'm finding out that when I stop what I’m doing and truly listen, it brings us closer together and makes them feel like they matter.
When a child engages in repetitive behaviours or has trouble expressing themselves, it can be challenging to stay patient. Not always easy to give them full attention day in and day out but trying to understand the meaning behind their actions and then responding calmly can sometimes make a world of difference. I try to show interest in what my daughter is communicating, even if it's repeated many times. This patience and active listening makes her feel valued and understood. I try to create a safe space where she feels loved and accepted.
In extreme cases where repetitive behaviors are non-stop, taking a deep breath to center myself helps. I try to redirect the focus – if I am sure she heard my answer the first time, I will ask the same question back to her. If she repeats correctly, I suggest a new point of conversation. Sometimes she repeats because she is keen to be part of a conversation but is lacking other ideas to talk about. Providing other suggestions for her toolbox to pull from is a go to or sometimes I just start a new conversation altogether.
It's completely normal to feel overwhelmed and lose your cool sometimes. Parenting can be incredibly demanding. Taking a moment to step away and breathe is okay. It doesn’t mean we love our child any less. Sometimes (if there is no support) just getting in the car and taking them for a drive – listen to some music and regain calm allows the chance to come back with patience and the love they need. We all do our best, and it's okay to acknowledge that this journey can be tough. Self-compassion is just as important as the compassion we show our child.
The time and effort we invest in our children today will pay off in the long run. Children who feel loved and supported are more likely to develop into confident and compassionate adults. The emotional security that comes from knowing they are a priority in their parents' lives is immeasurable.
Even if time is limited, the quality of the moments shared matters more than the quantity. A study by the University of Toronto found that the quality of parental involvement had a more significant impact on children's development than the sheer amount of time spent.
It’s easy to feel guilty about not spending enough time with our children, especially when juggling work and other responsibilities. However, perfection is not the goal. What matters is the effort and love we put into the time we do have.
Parenting is a journey best shared. Talking to other parents, sharing experiences. Supporting each other provides new perspectives and ideas on how to balance life and make more time.
Practical Tips for Busy Parents:
Schedule family time just as we would any other important meeting or appointment. This ensures that it becomes a non-negotiable part of our week.
When we're with our kids, be fully present. Avoid multitasking and focus on enjoying the moment together.
While technology can be a distraction, it can also be a tool for connection. Use video calls to stay in touch when away and share moments through photos and messages.
Don’t hesitate to delegate or seek help with household chores. This can free up more time.
Children grow up faster than we realize. One moment they are taking their first steps, and the next, they're off to college. Cherishing every moment with them is vital. It has been studied and proven that parent-child bonding has long-lasting effects on emotional and social development.
The key take away here is QUALITY time not QUANTITY. Finding balance is important for everyone in the family. Kids need to understand that sometimes parents have to work or take care of other responsibilities. It's okay for children to learn patience and play on their own. This helps them become more independent and not rely on their parents for entertainment all the time. Teaching them this balance helps everyone grow and manage their time better.
Making time for our kids is not just about being physically present but also emotionally available. It's about creating a safe, loving environment where they feel valued and understood. Every smile, every hug, every shared laugh contributes to their happiness and growth.
We are their first teachers, role models, and greatest supporters. The love and time we invest in them today will shape their tomorrow.
Poem by Jess Urlichs:
She asks me to watch how fast she can run
How high she can jump, “did you see that mom?”
“Just a minute”, I say –
“I’m almost done”.
She asks me to listen while she hums a tune
Just a second, I say –
“I’ll be there soon”
She asks me to play, as I turn away,
I have things to do, and don’t have all day.
“Hold on a moment”, she hears me say.
She asks me to look at a picture she drew
I say I will soon, but I’ve things to do.
For her world is in colour, a work of art.
An invite she offers into her heart
But there’s something unfinished
Always something to start.
I will never be done
There will always be more
The dust will still settle
On some endless chore
And the running, the jumping
The “mommy watch this”.
Will I remember it only as something I missed?
Too busy with crossing things off my list?
Let’s sit for a while, let’s take some time.
Pull me into your world
Let me step out of mine.
She soars around, her arms are wings
And I finally learn that we need the same things.
In this season and all that it brings.
A girl and her mother.
Just seeing each other.
As our children grow into adults and start their own lives, the dynamics of our relationship inevitably change. While it’s still important to spend quality time together, it's also crucial to recognize the value of those moments over quantity. For many, as empty nesters, this transition offers an opportunity to rediscover ourselves and nurture our own passions and relationships. Balancing our time with our adult children and our own personal growth allows us to support them while also embracing this new chapter in our lives. It's a loving reminder that while our bond remains strong, it's okay to focus on ourselves too.
Whether we're caring for young children or supporting our grown ones, each moment of love, laughter, and connection leaves a mark on their hearts and ours.
A story worth sharing:
The whole world paused this morning.
Do you know why? Because an 8 year old's tank was empty.
The boys had already started their school day at their desks and I was preparing to leave for work when I noticed my littlest standing in the bathroom wiping his face.
I paused at the door and asked if he was okay. He looked up with tears silently dripping and shook his head. When I questioned if something happened, again he shook his head.
So I sat on the side of the tub and pulled him on my lap. I told him sometimes our heart tanks feel empty and need to be refilled.
He cried into my chest and I held tight.
I asked if he could feel my love filling him up?
A nod, and tears stopped....
I waited a minute....
'Has it reached your toes yet?"
He shoook his head no....
"Okay man. We will take as long as you need. Work doesn't matter right now. School isn't important either. This right here, is the most important thing today, okay? Filling you back to the top. Is that good?"
*nods...
One more minute...'
"Is your heart full of mamas love now?"
'"Yeah...."
Looks in his eyes. I see it shining in there, you're full to the top and you're smiling!
You may not be 8 - you may be 28, 38, 48, 58 or even 78 whatever - ALL of us run on empty just like he did. His weekend was so busy and so full and his little soul was just dry !!!
We all have to pause, and take a moment to refill with the good things. Sunshine, songs, prayer, laughter, friends, hugs. Refill your empty, or you'll find those emotions (tears, anger, snappy words) overflowing with no reason why.
Take a moment. Refill. It's the most important part of your day!
Author: unknown
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