
I’m propped up in the hospital bed, sore and desperately tired, with a newborn curled up on my chest. I look down at her soft head and my heart skips a beat. I inhale the moment, close my eyes, and not sure if I say it out loud or just in my head because I’m too exhausted to know the difference.
Remember how this feels.
A toddler on unsteady legs looks at me with wide, adoring eyes and reaches to be picked up. As I scoop her into my arms and snuggle her close, I try to engrave the feeling of her cheek pressed into mine into my memory forever.
Remember how this feels.
School doors flung open she comes out with a backpack almost as big as she is and scans the group of neighbourhood parents. When she sees me, her face lights up.
“Hi Mommy!”
Remember how this feels.
She rides with pride - eager to share all she has done and learned this season. Looking up at the bleachers.
“Did you see that Mom?”
Remember how this feels
Driving down the street, I have one arm braced against the passenger side door while my foot pushes down on an imaginary brake. The car jerks forward and screeches to a halt. I look over and see frustration etched on the forehead of the teenager in the driver seat. Dad is much better with this stuff than I am - I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
Remember how this feels.
University honours graduate – my heart filled with joy and pride as she winks at me across the aisle before collecting her diploma.
Remember how this feels.
Her own car is packed to the brim – off on a road trip to L.A. One of many world travels. As I help to pack I feel an arm sling around me and do a double-take.
Who is this tall beautiful woman beside me? Where is my little girl? How did it go so fast? I embrace the moment with a hug
Remember how this feels.
She’s off to Australia to live and explore. My heart aches with worry and emptiness. It is just so far away.
“it’s ok Mom, I will see you again soon”
Remember how this feels
Back to Canada – to buy her own home in British Columbia. A bit closer. I travel, we pack and unpack – it is only a short plane ride away.
“Thank you, Mom”
Remember how this feels.

I stand on the edge of the dance floor admiring the beautiful couple. The bride is a vision in white absolutely breath taking, the groom tall and handsome – my heart swells with pride.
I turn away for a minute to talk to a guest, when I feel a gentle tap on my arm. I turn back and see a sheepish grin, the voice is music to my ears –
“Hi Mom”
Remember how this feels
It’s a different hospital room this time, but so much remains the same. The memories come flooding back as I slowly make my way down the hall.
I peek my head in through the door and see a woman cradling a tiny infant in her arms. As I come up beside her, she tenderly shows me the newest love of her life.
“Hi Grammy”
I look up and see my daughter
The tiny newborn
The sweet toddler
The playful little girl
The curious teenager
The adventurous, confident woman
And now the doting mother
I’ve loved each and every one of them
And I know that for as long as I live,
I will always remember how this feels.